Dear Tara,
Thank you so much for joining me today on Tea For Two with Melanie Rose, where we explore the fascinating stories of creatives, designers, artisans, and educators like yourself.
Reading your resume darling, is certainly going to need tea! Let me put the kettle on. Now, while that brews, let’s dive in.
I’ve looked at your website. It paints an incredible picture: you became a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication at Cal State Fullerton at the astonishingly young age of 33. You’re an award-winning researcher, the go-to TV Sexpert on Celebs Go Dating, a columnist for Women’s Health with 'Sexplore with Dr. Tara,' you’re the host of the Luvbites podcast and the new co-host of the iconic Loveline. Your work is everywhere from ABC News to Cosmopolitan.
Where do you find the time and energy?
I find the energy from my orgasmic life! I don’t consume caffeine or any other stimulant. I focus on little (and big) pleasures in life. I masturbate and have great sex regularly which gives me the feel-good hormones cocktail to do all the things I do. I exercise, do breathwork, sexual meditation, and journal. All these self-care activities give me energy. I’m skilled at prioritization and time management with different tasks. Some people joke that my middle name is efficiency (haha). I’ll happily take it.
Also, to be transparent, I don’t have children so I think that frees up a lot more time and energy than my peers with children.
But let's rewind the clock a bit. Let’s go back before your degree, the accolades and the media appearances.
You were born in Thailand. What was it like for your growing up there and when did you first come to the US? Why American specifically? What was it that attracted you?
I had an amazing childhood growing up in Thailand. Loving parents, awesome sister, and a wonderful grandmother that lived with us. One thing that was a limitation now that I’m a sex-positive adult looking back and observing my culture from an objective manner is that Thailand is very sexually conservative and sexual communication is lackluster. I know it doesn’t look like it with our infamous sex tourism and Hollywood portrayal of Thai culture but for people who were born and raised there they would know. Sex is a very hush hush topic. I’ll be super honest with you. I was attracted to the US because I had a boyfriend at the time that was going to school there so yeah I moved for love haha that didn’t last long though. I fell in love with the US and particularly LA and how much autonomy I have living abroad. It gave me a sense of freedom to explore sexually and romantically
Thank you so much for joining me today on Tea For Two with Melanie Rose, where we explore the fascinating stories of creatives, designers, artisans, and educators like yourself.
Reading your resume darling, is certainly going to need tea! Let me put the kettle on. Now, while that brews, let’s dive in.
I’ve looked at your website. It paints an incredible picture: you became a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication at Cal State Fullerton at the astonishingly young age of 33. You’re an award-winning researcher, the go-to TV Sexpert on Celebs Go Dating, a columnist for Women’s Health with 'Sexplore with Dr. Tara,' you’re the host of the Luvbites podcast and the new co-host of the iconic Loveline. Your work is everywhere from ABC News to Cosmopolitan.
Where do you find the time and energy?
I find the energy from my orgasmic life! I don’t consume caffeine or any other stimulant. I focus on little (and big) pleasures in life. I masturbate and have great sex regularly which gives me the feel-good hormones cocktail to do all the things I do. I exercise, do breathwork, sexual meditation, and journal. All these self-care activities give me energy. I’m skilled at prioritization and time management with different tasks. Some people joke that my middle name is efficiency (haha). I’ll happily take it.
Also, to be transparent, I don’t have children so I think that frees up a lot more time and energy than my peers with children.
But let's rewind the clock a bit. Let’s go back before your degree, the accolades and the media appearances.
You were born in Thailand. What was it like for your growing up there and when did you first come to the US? Why American specifically? What was it that attracted you?
I had an amazing childhood growing up in Thailand. Loving parents, awesome sister, and a wonderful grandmother that lived with us. One thing that was a limitation now that I’m a sex-positive adult looking back and observing my culture from an objective manner is that Thailand is very sexually conservative and sexual communication is lackluster. I know it doesn’t look like it with our infamous sex tourism and Hollywood portrayal of Thai culture but for people who were born and raised there they would know. Sex is a very hush hush topic. I’ll be super honest with you. I was attracted to the US because I had a boyfriend at the time that was going to school there so yeah I moved for love haha that didn’t last long though. I fell in love with the US and particularly LA and how much autonomy I have living abroad. It gave me a sense of freedom to explore sexually and romantically
What, or perhaps who, first sparked your passion for exploring the incredibly complex world of relationships and human sexuality? Was there a defining 'aha!' moment or was there one particular experience that set you on the path to becoming such an expert in this particular field?
I’ve always been a sexual person but in secret because I didn’t have the confidence or agency to express myself. I didn’t know enough and I grew up thinking it was shameful. But I remember reading some papers that said sex is one of the most universal problems in the world. Regardless of gender, sexual orientation, relationship status, age, race, or socio-economic status, people experience some difficulties when it comes to sex and sexuality. So that was a huge moment for me because I thought “ooh why not be a part of the solution to such a big universal problem?”
I know, from my own work, how so many people still find conversations around sex and sexuality quite sensitive and uncomfortable. How do people typically react when you tell them what you do for a living? Is it curiosity, perhaps a touch of awkwardness, or maybe even relief that someone is tackling these topics so openly?
I’ve gotten many different reactions! Mainly, curiosity. I usually say I’m a sexologist and they’ll go like “What? What does that mean and what do you actually do?” or “Oh Other reactions I’ve gotten that are less positive are “Oh I don’t need help in that department!” or “well I don’t see why people would want to air their private matters in public or with a stranger”
I’ve always been a sexual person but in secret because I didn’t have the confidence or agency to express myself. I didn’t know enough and I grew up thinking it was shameful. But I remember reading some papers that said sex is one of the most universal problems in the world. Regardless of gender, sexual orientation, relationship status, age, race, or socio-economic status, people experience some difficulties when it comes to sex and sexuality. So that was a huge moment for me because I thought “ooh why not be a part of the solution to such a big universal problem?”
I know, from my own work, how so many people still find conversations around sex and sexuality quite sensitive and uncomfortable. How do people typically react when you tell them what you do for a living? Is it curiosity, perhaps a touch of awkwardness, or maybe even relief that someone is tackling these topics so openly?
I’ve gotten many different reactions! Mainly, curiosity. I usually say I’m a sexologist and they’ll go like “What? What does that mean and what do you actually do?” or “Oh Other reactions I’ve gotten that are less positive are “Oh I don’t need help in that department!” or “well I don’t see why people would want to air their private matters in public or with a stranger”
You are a professor at Cal State Fullerton. How have you seen your students change. Are they more, or perhaps, less sexually educated? Are there common myths you find yourself addressing regularly? What tends to surprise your students the most when they delve into relational and sexual communication?
You are a professor at Cal State Fullerton. How have you seen your students change. Are they more, or perhaps, less sexually educated? Are there common myths you find yourself addressing regularly? What tends to surprise your students the most when they delve into relational and sexual communication?
This generation is more sexually educated. They have the Internet and social media. If they’re being smart about consuming credible content online, they have endless knowledge to gain. Universities have also been changing. More institutions are offering sex education and human sexuality courses. A common myth that I address regularly is “you should wait to have sex after marriage.” This is obviously BS and is based on uninformed perspective. Research shows that sexual compatibility is a huge part of fulfillment in marriage so sexual exploration during dating is vital. Something that surprise them is how vast the sexuality world is. Sex isn’t just penetration. When I teach the chapter on non-traditional sexual behavior, they all gasp and it really open up their minds.
And what about for you personally? What aspect of being a sex educator, whether in the classroom or through your public platforms, brings you the most fulfillment? What's the most rewarding part of guiding these important conversations?
The most rewarding part and one of the best feelings in the world is when I know I’ve helped people feel less shame and more confident about their sexuality. When people come to me and tell me how I’ve helped them expand their knowledge in sexuality and they have a better sex life learning from me. My purpose in life is to help people live a more authentic and passionate life.
You are a professor at Cal State Fullerton. How have you seen your students change. Are they more, or perhaps, less sexually educated? Are there common myths you find yourself addressing regularly? What tends to surprise your students the most when they delve into relational and sexual communication?
This generation is more sexually educated. They have the Internet and social media. If they’re being smart about consuming credible content online, they have endless knowledge to gain. Universities have also been changing. More institutions are offering sex education and human sexuality courses. A common myth that I address regularly is “you should wait to have sex after marriage.” This is obviously BS and is based on uninformed perspective. Research shows that sexual compatibility is a huge part of fulfillment in marriage so sexual exploration during dating is vital. Something that surprise them is how vast the sexuality world is. Sex isn’t just penetration. When I teach the chapter on non-traditional sexual behavior, they all gasp and it really open up their minds.
And what about for you personally? What aspect of being a sex educator, whether in the classroom or through your public platforms, brings you the most fulfillment? What's the most rewarding part of guiding these important conversations?
The most rewarding part and one of the best feelings in the world is when I know I’ve helped people feel less shame and more confident about their sexuality. When people come to me and tell me how I’ve helped them expand their knowledge in sexuality and they have a better sex life learning from me. My purpose in life is to help people live a more authentic and passionate life.
You're widely regarded as one of the most influential voices in sex and relationships, especially for Millennials and Gen Z navigating today's world. That has to be quite a responsibility. How do you stay so grounded. Thinking back, if you could sit down for tea right now with your own 18-year-old self, what wisdom would you share with her, what is the single most important piece of advice you could give her?
I would tell her to be patient. I’ve always been really hard on myself and someone that wanted to achieve things quickly. But the universe has a big plan for me to change the world in my own way so I need to be patient, cultivate my crafts, foster a strong community, and everything will happen!
The landscape of dating and relating has certainly shifted. Social media and the rise of dating apps have changed the game in ways our younger selves could not have even imagined. Have they ultimately helped or hindered the way people approach sex, form connections, and build lasting relationships?
I support mindful use of dating apps and social media. Dating apps are helpful for modern dating but the users need to be able to regulate their usage and emotions while using it. I hear a lot of people get dating exhaustion from apps but that’s because they spend too much time and energy in it. Being mindful is key. I think social media has helped people become more open minded about sex but at the same time…seeing “potential mates” on social media can hinder people in long term relationships if they don’t have a strong foundation.
There's so much noise and so many messages about sex swirling around us. In your expert opinion, are we living in an era of greater sexual liberation and understanding, or perhaps are we just experiencing a different kind of sexual confusion?
I believe it’s an era of greater sexual liberation but only for certain groups - people who live in more progressive societies. There are others in some parts of the world that are even more repressed than ever. It’s very sad to see some people weaponize religion and politics in oppressing women and people’s sexuality.
Pop culture – books, films, TV, music – shapes our perceptions. Are there persistent myths or inaccurate portrayal of sex or relationships that you consistently see in the media that you truly wish would change?
There are so many! One of the most annoying ones is the inaccurate portrayal of foreplay. You rarely see intentional and extended foreplay in movies. It’s like eyes meet, they make out, and bam…penetration. Ouch. I’m not even wet yet. I want to see more of people spending time on each other’s bodies just because. No need for a specific goal of penetrative sex or orgasm. Focusing on the sexual connection and energy.
I would tell her to be patient. I’ve always been really hard on myself and someone that wanted to achieve things quickly. But the universe has a big plan for me to change the world in my own way so I need to be patient, cultivate my crafts, foster a strong community, and everything will happen!
The landscape of dating and relating has certainly shifted. Social media and the rise of dating apps have changed the game in ways our younger selves could not have even imagined. Have they ultimately helped or hindered the way people approach sex, form connections, and build lasting relationships?
I support mindful use of dating apps and social media. Dating apps are helpful for modern dating but the users need to be able to regulate their usage and emotions while using it. I hear a lot of people get dating exhaustion from apps but that’s because they spend too much time and energy in it. Being mindful is key. I think social media has helped people become more open minded about sex but at the same time…seeing “potential mates” on social media can hinder people in long term relationships if they don’t have a strong foundation.
There's so much noise and so many messages about sex swirling around us. In your expert opinion, are we living in an era of greater sexual liberation and understanding, or perhaps are we just experiencing a different kind of sexual confusion?
I believe it’s an era of greater sexual liberation but only for certain groups - people who live in more progressive societies. There are others in some parts of the world that are even more repressed than ever. It’s very sad to see some people weaponize religion and politics in oppressing women and people’s sexuality.
Pop culture – books, films, TV, music – shapes our perceptions. Are there persistent myths or inaccurate portrayal of sex or relationships that you consistently see in the media that you truly wish would change?
There are so many! One of the most annoying ones is the inaccurate portrayal of foreplay. You rarely see intentional and extended foreplay in movies. It’s like eyes meet, they make out, and bam…penetration. Ouch. I’m not even wet yet. I want to see more of people spending time on each other’s bodies just because. No need for a specific goal of penetrative sex or orgasm. Focusing on the sexual connection and energy.
You know I am an avid fan or your podcast, Luvbites. It focuses on 'sexual wellness and sexploration.' What's the core message or feeling you hope listeners take away after tuning in? And maybe for our readers today, could you offer one small, tangible piece of 'Sexploration' advice they could perhaps try this week to enhance their own connection or understanding?
I hope listeners can feel more sexually empowered after listening to my podcast. For your readers today, my tangible sexploration advice is to expand your definition of sex. Sex isn’t just penis-in-vagina penetration. There’s so much more to human sexuality and it’s fascinating. An activity that you can try today is sexual meditation. I have a guided sexual meditation track on youtube that’s going to help you hone your sexual energy and become more sexually mindful.
Looking ahead, what are your hopes for the future of sex education and the broader cultural conversation around sexuality and relationships? We live in an age of change; what is the one change that you would you love to see happen?
I would love to see people communicating more openly about sex. Whether it’s within romantic relationships, friendships, family, or as a society in general. It’s such a natural thing so we should be able to talk about it in any setting like asking people about the weather! Sexual communication is key to a passionate long term relationship and sexual well-being so I want to see sexual communication becoming a norm in our society in my lifetime.
This has been absolutely enlightening darling. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and passion with us. Right, I think that tea is perfectly brewed now. What tea would you prefer? Here are your choices:
Damiana Tea - Damiana is a traditional herbal aphrodisiac and mood enhancer, historically used to boost libido and intimacy.
Chocolate Chai - Chocolate is historically considered an aphrodisiac, and a spiced chai adds warmth and depth. I should add that I love chocolate chai!
Rose Petal Tea - Rose tea is delicate, floral, and often used in aphrodisiac blends.
Rose Petal Tea
Sugar? Yes? Or No? If yes. How many lumps/spoons?
Yes to sugar.
Milk? Yes? Or No?
No milk.
I hope listeners can feel more sexually empowered after listening to my podcast. For your readers today, my tangible sexploration advice is to expand your definition of sex. Sex isn’t just penis-in-vagina penetration. There’s so much more to human sexuality and it’s fascinating. An activity that you can try today is sexual meditation. I have a guided sexual meditation track on youtube that’s going to help you hone your sexual energy and become more sexually mindful.
Looking ahead, what are your hopes for the future of sex education and the broader cultural conversation around sexuality and relationships? We live in an age of change; what is the one change that you would you love to see happen?
I would love to see people communicating more openly about sex. Whether it’s within romantic relationships, friendships, family, or as a society in general. It’s such a natural thing so we should be able to talk about it in any setting like asking people about the weather! Sexual communication is key to a passionate long term relationship and sexual well-being so I want to see sexual communication becoming a norm in our society in my lifetime.
This has been absolutely enlightening darling. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and passion with us. Right, I think that tea is perfectly brewed now. What tea would you prefer? Here are your choices:
Damiana Tea - Damiana is a traditional herbal aphrodisiac and mood enhancer, historically used to boost libido and intimacy.
Chocolate Chai - Chocolate is historically considered an aphrodisiac, and a spiced chai adds warmth and depth. I should add that I love chocolate chai!
Rose Petal Tea - Rose tea is delicate, floral, and often used in aphrodisiac blends.
Rose Petal Tea
Sugar? Yes? Or No? If yes. How many lumps/spoons?
Yes to sugar.
Milk? Yes? Or No?
No milk.
Website: Luvbites
Instagram: Luvbites.co
Tik Tok: Luvbites.co
X: Luvbites by Dr.Tara
Youtube: Luvbites by Dr.Tara
Instagram: Luvbites.co
Tik Tok: Luvbites.co
X: Luvbites by Dr.Tara
Youtube: Luvbites by Dr.Tara
Here’s a simple and fragrant Rose Petal Tea recipe! I hope you enjoy.
This makes 2 cups.
2 x cups of water
2 tsp dried edible rose petals (unsprayed and food-grade)
1 tsp dried hibiscus (optional, for a tangy flavor and deeper pink color)
1–2 tsp honey or sugar (optional, to taste)
½ tsp fresh lemon juice (optional, brightens the flavor)
Instructions
Heat water — Bring 2 cups of water to a gentle boil
Add petals — Place rose petals (and hibiscus, if using) into a teapot or heatproof cup
Steep — Pour the hot water over the petals. Cover and let steep for 5–7 minutes
Strain — Strain the tea into cups
Sweeten & finish — Stir in honey or sugar if desired. Add a touch of lemon juice for a fresh citrus note
Serve in a glass teacup so you can enjoy the soft blush color. A few floating fresh petals make it feel extra special
This makes 2 cups.
2 x cups of water
2 tsp dried edible rose petals (unsprayed and food-grade)
1 tsp dried hibiscus (optional, for a tangy flavor and deeper pink color)
1–2 tsp honey or sugar (optional, to taste)
½ tsp fresh lemon juice (optional, brightens the flavor)
Instructions
Heat water — Bring 2 cups of water to a gentle boil
Add petals — Place rose petals (and hibiscus, if using) into a teapot or heatproof cup
Steep — Pour the hot water over the petals. Cover and let steep for 5–7 minutes
Strain — Strain the tea into cups
Sweeten & finish — Stir in honey or sugar if desired. Add a touch of lemon juice for a fresh citrus note
Serve in a glass teacup so you can enjoy the soft blush color. A few floating fresh petals make it feel extra special
