Dear Tyler & Tiffany,
First off, thank you so much for joining me on this little adventure—Tea for Two, my blog series where I get to sit down (virtually or otherwise) with the brilliant souls who live and breathe creativity. This is my favorite excuse to pull up a chair with artisans, designers, and educators whose passion is so contagious, it spills into every corner of their lives.
Today, I’m thrilled to dive into a topic that’s close to my heart and, I know, yours as well: Boudoir Photography. For anyone new to this art form, let’s set the scene. Boudoir photography traces its roots back to late 19th-century Paris, where studios began offering sensual portraits for private enjoyment. The word “boudoir” itself is French for a woman’s private dressing room or bedroom—a space that’s intimate, personal, and, let’s be honest, a little bit indulgent.
Fast forward to the 1970s and 80s, and boudoir photography began to shift, thanks to the feminist movement. Suddenly, it was less about the male gaze and more about female agency and self-expression. And now, with digital photography, body-positivity, and social media, boudoir photography has entered the mainstream to become a genre that’s celebrated by people of all genders and backgrounds.
As someone who designs sacred, private spaces, I’ve always encouraged my clients to consider boudoir photography as part of their personal sanctuary. So, it was a real treat to meet you both on set of my show, How To Build A Sex Room. You were such a calming, creative presence in the episodes you appeared in, and it was wonderful to see the clients relax and truly enjoy their sessions. I hope viewers got a little taste of the magic behind boudoir photography.
Can you take us back to your very first encounter with boudoir photography? Was there a particular image, moment, or experience that sparked your interest? How did that initial curiosity blossom into a full-fledged passion which, eventually, became a career in a genre that’s sometimes misunderstood?
I (Tyler) was trained as a cinematographer and when I transitioned to the business side of media, I wanted to create meaningful, cinematic editorials. Weddings seemed the area we would focus because of the storytelling. We quickly tired of the other aspects of wedding photography and instead moved to a more editorial process and approach within a defined sandbox.
And I (Tiffany) was struck by the women I worked with early on who were used to being in front of the camera. I felt that they had to cultivate confidence and grounding within themselves and connect with their bodies in ways that many women struggle to do. I reflected on the times I felt those things in my own spaces at home, and I was inspired by the prospect of coming alongside all of those women to access that feeling of being at home in their bodies, of experiencing the freedom of moving their bodies in ways that feel sensual, calm and even silly. I believe that each woman can access that intuitive movement if given a safe space and supportive feedback.
The focus on women was evident from the start. We are parents of daughters (now adults) and we found that many of the conversations we were having with our daughters as they navigated middle school were similar to the conversations we had with other women. Imposter syndrome for us was a systemic byproduct, not a reflection of women: in our estimation, the world needs more feminine energy, leadership, and intuition, despite a dogma that tells women they should hide or subjugate those strengths.
We also found women wrestled with how to step into that confidence, and the work we were doing with them to create totems and memorials to their strength and power had material impact.
We have a number of collaborator clients who come to us with the idea of creating art for a loved one: we encourage them to create for themselves first and the gift of their confidence and self-love will be greater than the physical art we create could ever grant.
First off, thank you so much for joining me on this little adventure—Tea for Two, my blog series where I get to sit down (virtually or otherwise) with the brilliant souls who live and breathe creativity. This is my favorite excuse to pull up a chair with artisans, designers, and educators whose passion is so contagious, it spills into every corner of their lives.
Today, I’m thrilled to dive into a topic that’s close to my heart and, I know, yours as well: Boudoir Photography. For anyone new to this art form, let’s set the scene. Boudoir photography traces its roots back to late 19th-century Paris, where studios began offering sensual portraits for private enjoyment. The word “boudoir” itself is French for a woman’s private dressing room or bedroom—a space that’s intimate, personal, and, let’s be honest, a little bit indulgent.
Fast forward to the 1970s and 80s, and boudoir photography began to shift, thanks to the feminist movement. Suddenly, it was less about the male gaze and more about female agency and self-expression. And now, with digital photography, body-positivity, and social media, boudoir photography has entered the mainstream to become a genre that’s celebrated by people of all genders and backgrounds.
As someone who designs sacred, private spaces, I’ve always encouraged my clients to consider boudoir photography as part of their personal sanctuary. So, it was a real treat to meet you both on set of my show, How To Build A Sex Room. You were such a calming, creative presence in the episodes you appeared in, and it was wonderful to see the clients relax and truly enjoy their sessions. I hope viewers got a little taste of the magic behind boudoir photography.
Can you take us back to your very first encounter with boudoir photography? Was there a particular image, moment, or experience that sparked your interest? How did that initial curiosity blossom into a full-fledged passion which, eventually, became a career in a genre that’s sometimes misunderstood?
I (Tyler) was trained as a cinematographer and when I transitioned to the business side of media, I wanted to create meaningful, cinematic editorials. Weddings seemed the area we would focus because of the storytelling. We quickly tired of the other aspects of wedding photography and instead moved to a more editorial process and approach within a defined sandbox.
And I (Tiffany) was struck by the women I worked with early on who were used to being in front of the camera. I felt that they had to cultivate confidence and grounding within themselves and connect with their bodies in ways that many women struggle to do. I reflected on the times I felt those things in my own spaces at home, and I was inspired by the prospect of coming alongside all of those women to access that feeling of being at home in their bodies, of experiencing the freedom of moving their bodies in ways that feel sensual, calm and even silly. I believe that each woman can access that intuitive movement if given a safe space and supportive feedback.
The focus on women was evident from the start. We are parents of daughters (now adults) and we found that many of the conversations we were having with our daughters as they navigated middle school were similar to the conversations we had with other women. Imposter syndrome for us was a systemic byproduct, not a reflection of women: in our estimation, the world needs more feminine energy, leadership, and intuition, despite a dogma that tells women they should hide or subjugate those strengths.
We also found women wrestled with how to step into that confidence, and the work we were doing with them to create totems and memorials to their strength and power had material impact.
We have a number of collaborator clients who come to us with the idea of creating art for a loved one: we encourage them to create for themselves first and the gift of their confidence and self-love will be greater than the physical art we create could ever grant.
You work with clients in deeply personal and intimate settings. How do you help people feel comfortable and confident in front of the camera, especially if they’re nervous or self-conscious?
Nerves, anxiety, fears, and self-conscious thoughts are all welcome in the room. They are not, however, permitted to take over. That is where we start and we set the expectation they will show up in the session.
We approach these with two primary modes of expectation setting.
The first is that the initial set we photograph has no expectations for producing images. It is for feeling into the session, not only for the collaborator client, but for us as well. We are learning to dance together. It is all new and more a lot of women this is the first time being in various stages of undress, in front of camera, in the presence of two professionals. That is a lot of new! And with anything new, we all know there is an adaptation phase. Like good sex, this is the warm up period.
The second thing we do, and most importantly, is we watch for when collaborators bring unwanted visitors into the room (metaphorically). When fear or performance shows up, what do we do? We. Put. the. Camera. Down.
And we sit. We ask, what just came up? Where did that come from? Our collaborator clients have full agency and autonomy to decide the level of disclosure. But we do not bear down and drive through it. When our clients are swept away in emotions they did not anticipate, we have the honor of witnessing, and that cannot be done with a camera in front of our face.
We find that when this happens, we tend to create even more authentic, beautiful imagery after we hold the space for the unanticipated. We are strong enough to hold that space. And what our clients begin to find is they are also stronger than they knew to do the same without feeling the urge to crush those feelings down as far as they can.
We set the stage, create safety, and the more our client connects with herself and her body, the more the session flows.
On your website, https://tadamphoto.com/ you mention the Creative Planning Consultation. Could you walk us through what that looks like for someone thinking about booking a session? What can they expect from start to finish?
Our planning consultation is one we feel is a distinguishing feature of our studio. Whether we are conducting an editorial session for a personal project or one of our classic, intimate portraiture sessions, all of our projects recognize the autonomy and agency of our front-of-camera collaborators (clients).
But sometimes our collaborators do not recognize their own agency and autonomy. So our consultation sessions are a means to not only build confidence in our team effort, but confidence in the minds of individuals that do not do this for a living. We already know they are far more capable than they know or believe: we structure our creative consultation as a means for granting a glimpse for their confidence and power, something we get to witness blossom through the course of the session.
Logistics is secondary in these sessions. The marquee feature is an archetypal discussion we facilitate with our collaborators where we explore the past, present and future aspirations they may carry with them. We investigate the themes and values associated with their unique archetypes so we can plan a creative session that is authentic and genuine to them.
Our collaborators report this as one of the richest aspects of the entire experience, allowing them to look inward in ways they may never have imagined. This helps us to ensure we are also coaching and directing during the session in ways that solicit their genuine expressions instead of performing.
So much of our every day is about performing, often in ways that violate our core sense of being: we have no interest in perpetuating that activity, which is why we put such emphasis on these creative consultations.
In plain speak, we use the time and space for these sessions to provide logistical details, answer outstanding questions, present our philosophy and approach, then spend the bulk of the time with the archetypal interview. Then we are off to the races!
Nerves, anxiety, fears, and self-conscious thoughts are all welcome in the room. They are not, however, permitted to take over. That is where we start and we set the expectation they will show up in the session.
We approach these with two primary modes of expectation setting.
The first is that the initial set we photograph has no expectations for producing images. It is for feeling into the session, not only for the collaborator client, but for us as well. We are learning to dance together. It is all new and more a lot of women this is the first time being in various stages of undress, in front of camera, in the presence of two professionals. That is a lot of new! And with anything new, we all know there is an adaptation phase. Like good sex, this is the warm up period.
The second thing we do, and most importantly, is we watch for when collaborators bring unwanted visitors into the room (metaphorically). When fear or performance shows up, what do we do? We. Put. the. Camera. Down.
And we sit. We ask, what just came up? Where did that come from? Our collaborator clients have full agency and autonomy to decide the level of disclosure. But we do not bear down and drive through it. When our clients are swept away in emotions they did not anticipate, we have the honor of witnessing, and that cannot be done with a camera in front of our face.
We find that when this happens, we tend to create even more authentic, beautiful imagery after we hold the space for the unanticipated. We are strong enough to hold that space. And what our clients begin to find is they are also stronger than they knew to do the same without feeling the urge to crush those feelings down as far as they can.
We set the stage, create safety, and the more our client connects with herself and her body, the more the session flows.
On your website, https://tadamphoto.com/ you mention the Creative Planning Consultation. Could you walk us through what that looks like for someone thinking about booking a session? What can they expect from start to finish?
Our planning consultation is one we feel is a distinguishing feature of our studio. Whether we are conducting an editorial session for a personal project or one of our classic, intimate portraiture sessions, all of our projects recognize the autonomy and agency of our front-of-camera collaborators (clients).
But sometimes our collaborators do not recognize their own agency and autonomy. So our consultation sessions are a means to not only build confidence in our team effort, but confidence in the minds of individuals that do not do this for a living. We already know they are far more capable than they know or believe: we structure our creative consultation as a means for granting a glimpse for their confidence and power, something we get to witness blossom through the course of the session.
Logistics is secondary in these sessions. The marquee feature is an archetypal discussion we facilitate with our collaborators where we explore the past, present and future aspirations they may carry with them. We investigate the themes and values associated with their unique archetypes so we can plan a creative session that is authentic and genuine to them.
Our collaborators report this as one of the richest aspects of the entire experience, allowing them to look inward in ways they may never have imagined. This helps us to ensure we are also coaching and directing during the session in ways that solicit their genuine expressions instead of performing.
So much of our every day is about performing, often in ways that violate our core sense of being: we have no interest in perpetuating that activity, which is why we put such emphasis on these creative consultations.
In plain speak, we use the time and space for these sessions to provide logistical details, answer outstanding questions, present our philosophy and approach, then spend the bulk of the time with the archetypal interview. Then we are off to the races!
What are some common misconceptions people have about boudoir photography, and how do you gently set the record straight?
The view that boudoir photography is for a boyfriend, groom, husband, wife, throuple, or any other permutation and combination of significant other is the biggest misconception. But it is one that not every studio holds to because it is a buyer motivation.
We hold a different value we mentioned before: the experience, including the imagery produced, belongs to only one person: the beautiful soul in front of camera, submitting herself on the altar to her own wholeness. That is our North Star.
Additionally, the view that boudoir is only a posed, sexualized version of a woman. Boudoir can be that, but it can be so much more. It can capture sensuality, classic shapes, relaxed scenes. It can draw out the romance of everyday poses and expressions: smiling, flirting, reflection, contentment and more.
The view that boudoir photography is for a boyfriend, groom, husband, wife, throuple, or any other permutation and combination of significant other is the biggest misconception. But it is one that not every studio holds to because it is a buyer motivation.
We hold a different value we mentioned before: the experience, including the imagery produced, belongs to only one person: the beautiful soul in front of camera, submitting herself on the altar to her own wholeness. That is our North Star.
Additionally, the view that boudoir is only a posed, sexualized version of a woman. Boudoir can be that, but it can be so much more. It can capture sensuality, classic shapes, relaxed scenes. It can draw out the romance of everyday poses and expressions: smiling, flirting, reflection, contentment and more.
When it comes to styling, is there a small detail—a piece of fabric, a certain kind of lighting, or a favorite prop—that you find especially powerful in telling a client’s story?
We photograph on the darker and moodier side, a reflection of our cinematic sensibilities. This style lends very well to backlit scenes where the dance between highlights and shadows is maximized.
And what captures light and shadow beautifully? Human skin. That is why shooting for artistic, intimate nudes is so powerful. The mise en scene is critical, so we shoot wide and editorial in a way that tells a story, as if our clients are observing themselves in the every day moments, glimpsing they are confident, erotic, sexy, and powerful in the everyday intimate moments, not only when they put on a costume.
Boudoir is such a blend of artistry and intimacy. How do you balance being creative with maintaining professionalism and respect for your clients’ boundaries?
All permissions are set before hand during the consultation. We recognize that when we are in session, there is a power imbalance: we are the professionals and for many women, they seek to please. We do frequent intuition checks to see how they are feeling and what they are experiencing to help confirm they are validating their own authentic choices.
We have had collaborators choose to do nudes prior and then decide they were not feeling it during the session. While rare, we honor this decision and it is non-negotiable. No means no.
Part of the benefit of working as a husband and wife team is that we find more power with three in the room. Tiffany is a champion for witnessing women and all women feel that energy from her. I (Tyler) will report to Tiffany the ways she encourages and witnesses women, making them glow in ways even Tiffany is not aware.
We are both advocates for women, and we take that seriously: some women do not know how to advocate for themselves, so it is incumbent on us to do it on their behalf.
We photograph on the darker and moodier side, a reflection of our cinematic sensibilities. This style lends very well to backlit scenes where the dance between highlights and shadows is maximized.
And what captures light and shadow beautifully? Human skin. That is why shooting for artistic, intimate nudes is so powerful. The mise en scene is critical, so we shoot wide and editorial in a way that tells a story, as if our clients are observing themselves in the every day moments, glimpsing they are confident, erotic, sexy, and powerful in the everyday intimate moments, not only when they put on a costume.
Boudoir is such a blend of artistry and intimacy. How do you balance being creative with maintaining professionalism and respect for your clients’ boundaries?
All permissions are set before hand during the consultation. We recognize that when we are in session, there is a power imbalance: we are the professionals and for many women, they seek to please. We do frequent intuition checks to see how they are feeling and what they are experiencing to help confirm they are validating their own authentic choices.
We have had collaborators choose to do nudes prior and then decide they were not feeling it during the session. While rare, we honor this decision and it is non-negotiable. No means no.
Part of the benefit of working as a husband and wife team is that we find more power with three in the room. Tiffany is a champion for witnessing women and all women feel that energy from her. I (Tyler) will report to Tiffany the ways she encourages and witnesses women, making them glow in ways even Tiffany is not aware.
We are both advocates for women, and we take that seriously: some women do not know how to advocate for themselves, so it is incumbent on us to do it on their behalf.
Looking at the current landscape, what new trends or themes in boudoir photography are you most excited about? How is the genre evolving, and what would you love to see more of in the future?
The emphasis on experience continues to grow. With the democratization of cameras and artists entering the space, we foresee the differentiation being found within experience.
We hope that puts greater emphasis on other artists finding their unique voice rather than seeking to replicate that which is already in market. We believe in other artists and their ability to do so, even when they do not believe they have the confidence to pursue that creative voice.
Your work is clearly rewarding, but I imagine it can be emotionally intense at times. What are some of the unique creative or emotional challenges you face, and how do you recharge your own creative batteries after pouring so much into your clients?
It is a long list. We have other creative endeavors as well. We have recently become part of another media platform that seeks to engage in honest conversations about living life’s intensities. It includes a podcast and newsletter and can be found at goodpainco.com.
We love to unwind with movies and favorite TV shows. We have a ceramics studio in our home along with a traditional woodworking workshop where both of us make traditional furniture.
As we get older, we are increasingly aware of how little time we have to pursue all our interests!
The emphasis on experience continues to grow. With the democratization of cameras and artists entering the space, we foresee the differentiation being found within experience.
We hope that puts greater emphasis on other artists finding their unique voice rather than seeking to replicate that which is already in market. We believe in other artists and their ability to do so, even when they do not believe they have the confidence to pursue that creative voice.
Your work is clearly rewarding, but I imagine it can be emotionally intense at times. What are some of the unique creative or emotional challenges you face, and how do you recharge your own creative batteries after pouring so much into your clients?
It is a long list. We have other creative endeavors as well. We have recently become part of another media platform that seeks to engage in honest conversations about living life’s intensities. It includes a podcast and newsletter and can be found at goodpainco.com.
We love to unwind with movies and favorite TV shows. We have a ceramics studio in our home along with a traditional woodworking workshop where both of us make traditional furniture.
As we get older, we are increasingly aware of how little time we have to pursue all our interests!
For someone who’s intrigued by the idea of a boudoir session but feeling nervous or doubtful, what’s your go-to piece of advice to help them take that first, empowering step?
Book a consultation. Let go of the needs to convince yourself in the confines of your own mind. Enroll a collaborator that you trust to walk through questions and explore. Our consults are no-obligation, and we enjoy having conversations without needing to prove the outcome of a full session. Find those who value you and your agency as much as they value their own. They are your allies.
How has this work changed you personally? Has witnessing so much vulnerability and courage in your clients influenced your own self-perception or confidence?
We have come to realize that the mission of empowering women is greater than the product produced. We get more out of witnessing women fall in love with themselves in ways they had not prior than in producing beautiful imagery.
Our clients are brave and inspiring. It has made me reflective about how I, Tiffany, celebrate my body when I am on my own. I love to dance and watch myself move. I take the time to appreciate my body, showering, dressing, or walking down the street. Our clients have shown me how much value there is in putting yourself out there, embracing yourself, and owning all the parts of you. I’m so thankful for them. Let the army of empowered, sensual women rise!
The art will take care of itself! And we haven’t left a client without being excited about the artistry we created together.
(Bonus!) Do you have a favorite memory or story from a shoot: something funny, moving, or totally unexpected, that still makes you smile?
We conducted a shoot a few years ago where our collaborator was surprised by a recent trauma coming into the room. She had worked so hard to keep it out of the space.
We worked together to welcome it in, with her permission, and she granted us the gift of witnessing her tears, her turmoil, and suffering.
We were invited to hold that space and to show her love, acceptance, and kindness. That level of self-disclosure and vulnerability is an honor, and it makes us smile, every time we recall that memory.
(Double Bonus!) If you could create a dream boudoir set, with no budget or logistical limits, what would it look like? (Feel free to go wild—think fantasy, movie sets, anything!
Book a consultation. Let go of the needs to convince yourself in the confines of your own mind. Enroll a collaborator that you trust to walk through questions and explore. Our consults are no-obligation, and we enjoy having conversations without needing to prove the outcome of a full session. Find those who value you and your agency as much as they value their own. They are your allies.
How has this work changed you personally? Has witnessing so much vulnerability and courage in your clients influenced your own self-perception or confidence?
We have come to realize that the mission of empowering women is greater than the product produced. We get more out of witnessing women fall in love with themselves in ways they had not prior than in producing beautiful imagery.
Our clients are brave and inspiring. It has made me reflective about how I, Tiffany, celebrate my body when I am on my own. I love to dance and watch myself move. I take the time to appreciate my body, showering, dressing, or walking down the street. Our clients have shown me how much value there is in putting yourself out there, embracing yourself, and owning all the parts of you. I’m so thankful for them. Let the army of empowered, sensual women rise!
The art will take care of itself! And we haven’t left a client without being excited about the artistry we created together.
(Bonus!) Do you have a favorite memory or story from a shoot: something funny, moving, or totally unexpected, that still makes you smile?
We conducted a shoot a few years ago where our collaborator was surprised by a recent trauma coming into the room. She had worked so hard to keep it out of the space.
We worked together to welcome it in, with her permission, and she granted us the gift of witnessing her tears, her turmoil, and suffering.
We were invited to hold that space and to show her love, acceptance, and kindness. That level of self-disclosure and vulnerability is an honor, and it makes us smile, every time we recall that memory.
(Double Bonus!) If you could create a dream boudoir set, with no budget or logistical limits, what would it look like? (Feel free to go wild—think fantasy, movie sets, anything!
The Tea Ritual!
Since this is Tea for Two, I’ve curated a little menu for you. Which one temps your taste buds?
Earl Grey Crème - A classic black tea with bright bergamot and a hint of creamy vanilla. It feels refined but approachable.
Rose Congou Black Tea - Infused with rose petals, this tea offers a heady, sensual fragrance and a smooth taste, perfect for evoking a mood of beauty and vulnerability.
White Peony (Bai Mu Dan) - A delicate white tea with subtle floral and honey notes. Light, fresh, and elegant—like natural light in a boudoir photo.
Tea? Yes or No?
Sugar? Yes or No? If YES how many lumps/spoons.
Yes Please! A Rose Congou Black Team for Tiffany with two lumps of sugar and a classic Earl Grey for Tyler, unassisted by sugar!
Since this is Tea for Two, I’ve curated a little menu for you. Which one temps your taste buds?
Earl Grey Crème - A classic black tea with bright bergamot and a hint of creamy vanilla. It feels refined but approachable.
Rose Congou Black Tea - Infused with rose petals, this tea offers a heady, sensual fragrance and a smooth taste, perfect for evoking a mood of beauty and vulnerability.
White Peony (Bai Mu Dan) - A delicate white tea with subtle floral and honey notes. Light, fresh, and elegant—like natural light in a boudoir photo.
Tea? Yes or No?
Sugar? Yes or No? If YES how many lumps/spoons.
Yes Please! A Rose Congou Black Team for Tiffany with two lumps of sugar and a classic Earl Grey for Tyler, unassisted by sugar!
